It’s been a long time since I’ve had a normal sleep schedule. In high school, I went to a school that was out-of-district and thus an hour bus ride away, because at the time it was the only French dual-track high school in south Calgary. Since I was also in band, I had practice at 7:30 a.m., meaning I was out the door and on the bus by no later than 6:30 a.m. usually four of five days a week. And of course university was, well, university.
Now that I actually have the time to have proper sleeping habits — if I’m going to be up at 5 a.m., there’s no reason why I shouldn’t go to bed early — I’m trying to get in the habit, but it’s not always easy. There’s still a lot of times where I’ll get six or eight hours of sleep, and yet when the alarm goes off at 6:30 a.m., I’m still trying to cram that well-rested feeling into nine more minutes of sleep, courtesy of the snooze button.
Part of it is likely stress, but I’ve gotten pretty good at ignoring that horrible knotted feeling in my stomach and rolling over and trying to fall back to sleep anyways. Right now, since I can’t feel that horrible knotted feeling, I figure I”m so far past stress that this is why I’m wide awake at 2:30 a.m. At least instances like these are getting less and less, though I still wish I were more productive if I’m going to be up at this hour.
Actually I did think about doing a little cleaning, and I really want to make banana bread, but I can’t quite remember where I put my glasses (as I write this I checked to see if they were on my dresser, which they’re not, so they might be in the bathroom, if not, your guess is as good as mine) and it’s just not worth it to put contacts in at 3 a.m. (Note: I’m so casual about the location of my glasses because I very rarely wear them. Because I wear contacts so much, I haven’t updated my glasses prescription in a very long time, and now they’re just a pain to wear.)
Even using my laptop is kind of interesting right now — I’m trying to be comfortable, but I also need the screen to be a lot closer than it normally is so I can see what I’m typing.
This would be why not sleeping sucks.
This song feels incredibly appropriate, however.