Sum of all the parts

It’s common sense that people are products of their life experiences, I just never expected it to happen to me.

The security deposit for my Lloydminster apartment arrived in the mail today, and with that, I think I can safely say that chapter of my life is closed. Which is really strange, considering how upset I was on Sunday about something going on in the Border City.

On one hand, I just want that chapter to be over, closed and done with. Yes, it happened, but I don’t want to have to draw on it for anything. But in that same breath, there are the positives that I have to take away, and positives that wouldn’t have happened anywhere except a place like there. Like the really good friendships I made that I have a feeling kept me sane some days. And learning things like black cows are my least favourite to photograph, and that the stars are really pretty when you’re standing in the middle of a frozen lake, even though driving onto the lake itself is scary as hell. And other random things that pop up and I think, ‘This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t moved out here.’ (And I entertain the idea a little of what would have happened if I’d stayed out there. Typical young person dilemma — what if.)

So yeah, there were good things. Even the bad things, I guess you could say I learned about what does and doesn’t work for me.

I feel like I’m having a hard time making my point, because I can’t exactly come out and say what was bothering me so much, so I’m stuck a little bit saying, “Yeah, it wasn’t so bad, but.”

I think it’ll be interesting going forward, and referencing personally the year and a half I spent in Lloyd. It’s the too-small city and the too-big town, so it will be interesting to see what happens in the next two, five, 10 years — I was just going to say 10 years, but even when I think of the developments that happened in a year and a half; things move fast there.

Like I said, I know we’re a sum of all our experiences, I just never expected it to happen to me. I was trying on shoes over the weekend, and without thinking, popped onto my toes, to see how the shoes would feel. It’s a marching band move, the way we moved backwards (heels never touch the ground when going backwards on the field) and it was totally an unconscious motion on my part, doing that in the shoe store.

So not only am I interested in seeing where the city is in a couple years, but also where I am.

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