When the sky is falling

As a consequence of moving so often, every now and then, in the millisecond between asleep and awake, there are times I can’t remember what city I’m in. If I’d gotten into Lloyd really late one night from Edmonton, it was sometimes really heartbreaking to remember where I actually was. Not the best way to start a day.

It happened again this morning. In that half-conscious millisecond, I thought I was in Calgary. I’m going home next week, and I’m really looking forward to it — I haven’t been home since May, for a variety of reasons — but I’m happy here too. No reason to wish I were in Calgary specifically.
But that’s kind of set the bar for my day. When I was making my coffee, I dropped the full mug because I didn’t have a good enough grip on it and my hands just, for lack of better term, gave up.

If that’s not enough:
I kept running into the same frustrating issue at work, and there’s nothing I can do about it except hack together a solution, when I know I’m right and there’s a more direct way of doing something.

In an effort to rescue some sanity, I plugged into my music while writing and editing. Normally I can’t concentrate as well for writing when listening to music on my headphones, never mind editing, but it was actually less distracting than all the noise in the office.

Just before the end of the day, the sky got really dark and a nasty thunderstorm rolled in. My manager drove me home, which was really nice because traffic sucked, but when I got home I found my kitchen floor and table soaked because I’d left the windows open. My apartment is on the end of the row and the window and the balcony create a wind tunnel, which obviously causes problems during storms. Oh. And my laptop was on the table, soaked. And now it won’t turn on.

It takes a lot to get me sick, so usually if I’m feeling a little off, it translates into being a little more tired or not very hungry. I haven’t been sleeping or eating much in two weeks. Thought I was over it last week, but I’m feeling off again today.

Halfway through my day today, I thought that, “Yeah, my day’s not going great, but that’s OK.” Being in Edmonton means I have options, my job does not determine 100 per cent of my happiness. Tomorrow could be better.

But at the same time, I feel like I’m in Edmonton, and I can’t complain. I can’t have a bad day. I got what I wanted, and so that means that if my job can’t determine 100 per cent of my happiness, there is no reason I can ever be 100 per cent unhappy.

And on days like these, I don’t know what to do, because the only thing left at this point is for the sky to fall.


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